how to deal with loving your best friend (same-sex)

Here is some advice on how to deal with being in love with your best friend, I am not going to say that you must do what I say, this is just some advice and maybe it can help you a little bit. Situations like this can be difficult and is for everyone different but maybe you have something about this.

I have been in love with a few friends of mine, some friends I don’t talk to anymore because of it. But with some friends I became closer because of it.
It is hard to be in love with your friend because you don’t want you ruin the friendship. You don’t want anything to change but also you want something to change, you want her.and that can be really hard. Mostly when you know she isn’t into you.

But how do you deal with it?

I will tell you two story’s about how I did deal with it,they are different from each other and I just want to share it.

story one: I felt in love with my best friend of that moment. We were really close and I realized that I was gay in that time. I did nothing with my feelings. But one day she told my that she wanted to kiss a girl. And it just happened. We had a secret relationship on and of for two years. But I had not told her that I was in love. For her it was just experimenting. At least that is what she told me. But one day I told her that I liked her. That I was in love with her. She got angry and we never hooked up again.

I just told her that I liked her, she didn’t feel the same because she was not straight or at least she was not ready to come out, I don’t know it and I will probably never know because I don’t talk to her anymore.
But what I wanted to say is this : I just told her how I felt and that really felt good because it was not a secret anymore.

Story two: I’m in love with my co-worker who is my best buddy at work. She is married to a woman and she has a child.I knew it would not happen. But still I felt in love with her.I started to have feelings for her a long time ago but she didn’t knew it until last year. Something happened we got in a fight and I tried to talk it out. We texted each other and I asked why we had a fight, she told me that she was tired of me not telling what is going on with me. And I asked what she meant. She said: ”You are in love with me. ” And then I knew I needed to be honest to her, I couldn’t lie anymore. So I said: yes I am but I don’t want this to change our friendship.” but sadly it did. She couldn’t handle me being in love with her for a while. We talked and talked and things got better. And now we are closer then before and even make fun about it, even when I am still on love with her. She knows that, but still is my friend.

Some advice

It doesn’t matter in what situation you are, it still is hard to express your feeling towards someone you care of, especially when it can change things between the two of you. But try to keep on. Try to figure out if she maybe likes you. And if you don’t know it at all and you feel okay about it try to tell her anyway. Even when you are scared. She is your best friend and that is for a reason. It came out in this two stories, in one it did not end well, even when things were good at the beginning, and in the other story it started of wrong but now things are good. So all I want to say is. Try to express yourself, tell your feeling but also listen to what she has to say about it. And accept that she maybe doesn’t feel the same. But that does not mean that you can’t be friends anymore. Maybe things will get hard, when she likes someone else and you feel jealous but try to let it go and enjoy her happiness. Because that is important right when you love someone. You want her to be happy.

Friendship is important it can be strong. So try to overcome whatever is going on. If you two are good friends your friendship will survive this.

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