It is funny I always say I’m a positive person and I believe truthfully I’m, but I also know of myself that I can be negative sometimes.
It can come and go with no reason, even when nothing really happens it is just like my brain doesn’t want to be happy anymore. It is like I want to be sad and want to be negative. You can call it self-compassion? But I’m nothing like that when I’m around others at least I don’t want to be like that around others.
It is so weird one time of the day I’m like” wauw everything is really good, beautiful and positive ” but then I just got this feeling like nothing really matters. Okay not like that but just a sad feeling. Do you understand?
I think I just need it sometimes, just to be negative for a moment. But I must remember myself that I need to turn it around, be positive. Because being negative doesn’t get you anywhere. I want to be happy and I know I can be happy. I am happy? Right? Okay maybe, to be honest, I don’t know right now. I have my happy moments that is true. I’m a happy person.
All I know is that I don’t want to be negative all the time because as what I told you before I’m a positive person. I really am. But why does it feels so good sometimes to be negative?