Why does it hurt so much?

I sit here and I have you on the phone. Something is wrong, you are sad I hear your voice break over and over again when you speak to me.

You said you wanted to tell me something but you can’t. You don’t want to hurt me… We have been here before. You said the same words to me. You can’t tell me. And you leave me wondering what is wrong.

Not this time. This time you said that you will explain everything to me and you did…

I listen to you and I hear you say… “We kissed.. ” “not once but a few times” “and we have slept with each other one time”

I hear the words in my head “we kissed” “we kissed” “we kissed” and all went black. It hurts it really hurts…it felt like everything in my life wasn’t real for a moment.

I know you have never loved me back. We were just friends but you knew I loved you. That is why you didn’t want to tell me this. But you also knew that I already knew about you and her.

It all makes sense now. All those times I saw you with her. That little touch you give her, that smile you give her, the flirty comments you give her. I wished you did that with me but you never loved me back. You already told me. And I knew…

I knew this would happen. But why does it hurt so much?

I have you on the phone. And I tell you that everything is going to be alright. But she doesn’t know that I have never been so hurt in my life.

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