I have so many questions. Questions about you. Questions about us. Questions about you with her. I will never get the answers to these questions. I can ask you but it hurts too much.
Since that night. Since I saw you with her I knew everything was going to be different. I broke…I have never felt so much pain before. I saw you looking at me, I will never forget the look you gave me. I saw in your eyes that you wouldn’t want this the happen. But it happened. It was okay for you to do it. But I hoped you were honest about it. So I didn’t need to betray you.
You did not cheat. We were not a couple. But I loved you. I still love you. After all, this fucked up things we are still best friends.
Yet, I think about all the times you hurt me. It is okay. I need to progress it. I forgive you. You know. You are still my best friend.
Still, I have those questions. It hurts to see her. It hurts to think about you and her. It hurts to not have you here with me. Why did you do it? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie? Why her and not me?!
I will never get the answers to these questions. But I can answer it myself. You protected me. The answer to these questions is:
You didn’t want to see me hurt.
But still you hurted me. But I forgive you!
And I still love you.